Getting better little bit by little bit

A has been doing “okay” and “good” in daycare, according to the paper he now brings home each day in his homework folder (along with homework, which is new).  J was not having good days at all.  One week, his teacher called every day but one, and even on the day she didn’t call he still had a note home.  Last Saturday, my niece/goddaughter had a birthday party at the zoo and my nephew had a sleepover with the boys since my niece had all the girls over.  So all week we were telling the boys they needed to have good days at school if they wanted to go.  All week, J was still having bad days…until his last chance on Friday.  He got purple, which is the best color he could get and means he had an awesome day.  (Monday and Tuesday of this week he’s had blue, the second best color).  Saturday night wasn’t too pretty though.  My mom called me Saturday night.  Dad had asked how they were doing.  A said he didn’t like it with us because we spank him and, apparently, J backed him up.  So we drove over there to have a talk with them.  J would only say that he didn’t like lying when asked why he lied.  A did not want to answer either, but finally when I told him he had to come back home with us if he didn’t, he said that he lied because he wants to go back to grandma’s (where they used to live).  And after talking to their therapist Monday (I let the therapist, our social worker, and their worker all know in case they tried to lie again), I found out J had been telling her things like my husband pulls on his ears and that we won’t let him brush their teeth (lies) and that he wants to go back to the foster family that had them the two weeks they weren’t with us (even though they weren’t any better there either).  Apparently they figured out that if they get us in trouble they can get moved, though it wouldn’t be to their grandma’s or to the previous foster family.  The therapist said maybe they had less rules in those places and that’s why they wanted to go there.  She said when she’s talked to J about who his mom and dad are our names were the ones he used.  So they have shown improvement, but then there’s the lies.  Hopefully they’ll keep improving and forget about the lies.

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And they are back

Long story short, the boys are back with us as of yesterday.  From what I’ve heard their behavior hasn’t improved any, so hopefully we can change that this time around.

Gone away

A week ago from this past Friday our boys left us.  They were almost with us for 8 months.  I know their behaviors got under our skin at times, but they were like our own children and we will miss them.  And I guess I will leave it at that.

Kindergarten tomorrow

Well we thought we knew where we were going to send the kids to for a new daycare.  J starts kindergarten tomorrow in the town where we live so we will be changing daycare for A and J will be able to go there for after school.  There was one that, on their website, it said transportation was provided from the elementary.  When the case worker was getting J enrolled she found out they don’t provide transportation.  I called.  Apparently when the bus routes changed this year, that stopped and they did not update the website yet.  I was able to find another daycare, though, less than half a mile from the school (0.3 mi) that has their own van they use to pick the kids up and they even close at 6 pm.  Husband did the tour today and turns out I have a cousin who works there.  So tomorrow morning we are supposed to go to elementary to find out who J’s teacher is, etc.  Making this their last day at the current daycare.  Hopefully they like this one, because these boys can be a handful when they want to be.

Sunday therapy, anyone?

You know you’ve got a therapist who cares when, after you’ve been texting with her on a Sunday, she calls and volunteers to stop by.  Last Thursday I found scribbling on the wall above A’s bed.  I painted it over and he promised to not do it again.  Hmph.  Sunday, J came and told us that A did it again.  He took J’s dry erase board (because J didn’t want to be friends with him) that the therapist had given them each one of and he broke the magnets off of the back.  He took his dry erase marker and scribbled, above J’s bed this time.  I tried getting answers but he gave me 3 different ones before I gave up and told him to do time out in his room.  He was tired (no, he wasn’t; they wake themselves up on the weekend when they are ready and it was still morning).  He was hungry (he had already had a banana, besides if you are hungry just COME TELL US NOT DRAW ON THE WALL!).  He didn’t want to go to school (drawing on the wall will not get you out of daycare, besides it’s a weekend).

Meanwhile, J was doing their thing of mumbling/talking low so we can’t hear.  Husband asks him to talk louder.  Asks if he should speak louder all the time or when he (J) feels like it,  to which J replies When I feel like it.

When confronted by therapist, A says he doesn’t like living here and wants to go back to Maw Sally’s.  Have to try to convince him that making bad choices does not equal going back there, besides he’s not going back there.  Period.

J should be starting kindergarten next week.  Think A is having a hard time with that also.

Meanwhile, grandpa who was supposed to be taking custody of them is going to have to be investigated because of accusations of sexual abuse made by J in therapy.

still here…for now

I know, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted.  But the boys are still with us for now.  And still no activity on bio mom’s part.  Grandpa (their dad’s dad) is still wanting them, but was told the house they lived in wasn’t sufficient or something like that.  So now they found a trailer and will be moving into it soon.  They still have to be certified first (I think) so I am not sure how much longer the boys will be with us.  They are still a handful, but we will certainly miss them.

obligatory update

Well we still have the boys.  A turned four last month and we threw him a party.  His grandpa and gf were there, and also my nieces and nephew, mom, and my sister (and me and the hubs).  It was minion themed and his first party ever.  So now they are both four years old until later this month when J makes 5.
Still no visits from bio mom.  Though they don’t even ask for her.  I heard them referring to her while talking to each other the other day…by calling her by her first name.  The last time A said he wants to go home husband asked him where home is.  He said his grandpa and grandma t (instead of the usual miss t, then had to correct himself).
Social worker said bio mom is wanting to sign rights over to a relative but that she didn’t get the name and is not able to get in touch with her right now.  She is supposed to have a home visit with her thursday and said she hopes that she is there.  This was at one of the two visits we had in less than a week.  We had April’s visit Thursday last week…then yesterday (Monday) morning she sent a text she would be doing her monthly visit.  She said there are new rules saying they had to try to get visits done the first couple of weeks.
The boys have an eye appointment tomorrow and someone is supposed to assess them tomorrow afternoon regarding counselling.  So we will see.